Meet men and women

Grumpy Ralph Fiennes in a tuxedo stands in front of Gemma Arterton, Rasputin and others dressed in a leather jacket.

Picture: 20th century

Have you forgotten who is starring in Kingsmen prequel The king’s man? I wouldn’t blame you for being, honestly. The film was originally scheduled to premiere in distant prehistory in November 2019 – yes, almost a full two years ago – before it was moved to March 2020, when recorded history began. The ancient scroll tells us about some mysterious event that follows delayed The king’s man and many other legendary films of yore, to the very year we are in. Fortunately – or perhaps cunningly – the 20th century has released a new video that reminds you of the movie Who’s Who.

I can’t believe no one has ever pointed that out before, but it’s really weird that this movie is called The king’s man when they actually have them multiple men in it! And not just men, but men who don’t seem to serve the king at all! Also, one of the men is actually a woman!! Ha ha, only in Hollywood, I guess!

These people include Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) as Duke of Oxford, called Oxford; the Maleficent Prince Philip (Harris Dickinson) hereinafter as Conrad; i Persecutor Korath (Djimon Hounsou) as Shola. Gretel the A witch hunter (Gemma Arterton) plays Polly’s wife. Oddly, there are other men in the film, including famous actors Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), Baron Zemo (Daniel Brühl), Tywin Lannister (Charles Dance) and Lizard (Rhys Ifans), the latter as Rasputinalthough they do not have a name-verified, probably because they are someone’s people instead of kings. They are probably the evil Kabbalah who wants to kill millions of people during the First World War, which is also strange because, as far as I know, the First World War killed heaps of people all by itself.

If the prophecies are to be believed, The king’s man it will finally arrive on December 22, 2021. May God have mercy on our souls.

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Naveen Kumar

Friendly communicator. Music maven. Explorer. Pop culture trailblazer. Social media practitioner.

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